Thursday, May 31, 2012

Cleaning Out Brainshuffles™

Snatching the last remaining nanobot literary gremlins out of Brainshuffles™ last night helped me steer my mind back on track to create more pieces of fiction. Darn little robots have been using a nanobot-size fog machine to cloud my mind for the past week!

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Tuesday, May 29, 2012


Poppy, the hologram of the clown head floating in the air by my laptop projected from the planet Vector-Boink, loves to blow raspberries and tell bad jokes.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Oh Bats

Woke up last night hearing loud screeching of automaton bats in the anti-grav graveyard while Tinky did cartwheels.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Tinky Shifts This Way And That

Tonight, Tinky has shrouded himself in a Jack Skellington skin-suit and is singing "Jack's Lament" from the movie The Nightmare Before Christmas up in the Graveyard.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Overhaulin' Tinky

Last night Tinky got overhauled by the Ockuliuns. He may not be malfunctioning right now, but he's running around the graveyard trading off blowing bubbles and blowing raspberries.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Anti-Gravity Quirks Again

The small anti-gravitational graveyard hanging over my desk keeps dropping coffins on my keyboard. Least before the coffins break open, the cadavers are preserved with automaton buggies, keeping the bodies flesh-bound, not decayed. Each one is nice enough to ask if I would return them to their dark place of rest. Evidently the robot caretaker, Tinky, has malfunctioned, coincidentally falling into graves he digs up, his weight pushing the coffins down and out.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

A Barrel of Robot Clowns

The Ockuliuns created a barrel of robot clowns (not to be confused with a barrel of monkeys), each one 3 inches tall, and each one taking the notion to pester Chainsaw Freckles. Not really a good thing to do..

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Adjustments For Doinky

I truly believe Doinky needs an adjustment. He spats curse words about defiant robot gummy worms who do not like to be swallowed, taking the notion of tickling the back of a person's throat.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Anti-Gravity Quirks

The automaton voodoo dolls built themselves a anti-gravity graveyard that hovers over my laptop. They love to peek over the edge and blow raspberries at me.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Nanobot Protection

Had to ask the Okuliuns to develop a nanobot virus protector to inject into Brainshuffles™ this morning, staving off a literary gremlin manifested writer's block!

Friday, May 18, 2012

Reasons Unknown...Yet Again

For some odd reason the Ockuliuns have modified Doinky, my Jack-in-the-box alarm clock. Now he is cyclopean and has Tourettes. Not am I only waking up to pies in the face from Fudgesickles, or the scream of a chainsaw from Freckles, I'm waking up to Dinky spatting curses at me.

Thursday, May 17, 2012


For some reason Chainsaw Freckles woke me up singing the Oompa Loompa song, instead of his normal chainsaw scream.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Brainshuffles™ Issues

Last night I forgot to shut down Brainshuffles™, my retro type writer that types by itself while I use an artificial  telekinetic ability, and woke up this morning to find a seven-foot tall hairy creature standing over my bed smiling from ear to ear, showing off its serrated teeth, holding a huge rainbow-colored lollipop. Perhaps Brainshuffles™ is trying to bring my fiction to reality!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Hoola Hoop Orbit

Robot yard gnomes love to Hula Hoop. At least they did not make the mistake picking up the Hoola Hoop Orbit™, the brand new time-traveling ones developed by the Ockuliuns.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Doinky Actions

Doinky dunks donuts during descriptions demoralizing diving dead.  

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Chainsaw Freckles Gets A Voice

Came home tonight to find that Chainsaw has a voice, especially repeating phrases Talking Tina spoke in the Twilight Zone episode "Living Doll".

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Bad Juju

NEVER allow an automaton voodoo doll to play with pins and a pin cushion like you would playing a peg game at a local Cracker Barrel restaurant.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Voodoo Spat Out Of The Machine

The Ockuliuns created a group of automaton voodoo dolls, each one about the size of a coffee cup, each one holding a grudge. 

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Doinky, Fudgesickles and Chainsaw Freckles

Woke up to each of my three alarm clocks going off - Fudgesickles giggling, throwing pies at me; Doinky blowing raspberries at a high-pitched volume; and Chainsaw Freckles' chainsaw roaring - trying to out do one another. The Ockuliuns are gonna here about this...

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Balancing Act

Woke up to Fudgesickles throwing a custard pie filled with gummy worms in my face using one hand and balancing a Slinky in the other.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Automaton Cockroaches

Amazing that each of my automaton cockroaches not only scatter when I flip on the light in the kitchen, but scurry back out of the crevices, gather together like a marching band, and create words like HOW ARE YOU THIS FINE MORNING? DID WE KEEP YOU AWAKE TOO MUCH, CRAWLING BACK AND FORTH ACROSS YOUR FACE??

Monday, May 7, 2012


Doinky loves to pretend it is a Venus fly trap.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Nanobot Literary Gremlins

The Ockulliuns are at work repairing Brainshuffles™ this morning because of a slew of nanobot literary gremlins infecting it overnight.

Saturday, May 5, 2012


On Vector-Boink, The Ockuliuns spoke of a creation where each soul is attracted to a bright light, shaped just like a bug zapper hanging outside on a pole, and working exactly like a bug zapper! Eeesh! No rest for the dead!

Tweaking Brainshuffles™

Thanks to the Ockuliuns, Brainshuffles™ is working quite well. They even had to tweak the microchip in my ear. However, it has somehow created a more bizarre outlook for writing my fiction. This is good, right..?

Alarm Clock Issues

Chainsaw Freckles needs to tone it down a bit in the morning. The voice command for "hitting the snooze button", so to speak, seems to worsen the volume of the chainsaw.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Reasons Unknown

The Ockuliuns are the best of the best of the best scientists on Vector-Boink. Why they like it here in my crawlspace, I'll never know. However, it continues to be quite an interesting ride since they have now invented a Jack-in-the-box alarm clock called Doinky.

Thursday, May 3, 2012


Vector-Boinkians - not to be confused with the Ockuliuns because they are the OTHER dark green meat living on the planet (minus the small fraction that live in my crawlspace, of course) - are known for growing a coffee bean called Zap®.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012


Vector-Boinkians (or Ockuliuns, whichever you would prefer to say) love to stand on their heads and eat cucumber-sized pickles.

Rubber Ducky Issues

The Ockuliuns (Ock-you-lie-uns) developed a new automaton rubber ducky. Problem is, it won't let me into my own bathtub.

Freckles and Fudgesickles

Woke up to both of my six foot clown alarm clocks brooding over which pie would make the most mess when thrown at someone. Namely, me.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Chainsaw Freckles

Last night the Ockuliuns decided Fudgesickles needed a friend to sidled next to during the day. Or perhaps they thought I was growing tired of pies being thrown at my face. At any rate, another six foot clown alarm clock was invented. This one wakes you up with a high-pitched giggle and starting up its chainsaw.