Monday, April 30, 2012


Vector-Boink, the invisible planet inside the invisible galaxy beside Mars, is know for not having a barrel of monkeys, but a barrel of clowns who love pickle-flavored lollipops.

Alien Abilities

The Ockuliuns removed the cream from the chocolate donuts from the bakery using telekinesis, leaving a tiny hollowed out space. Asked why they did this, they only shrugged and blinked their cyclopean eyes at me.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Time Travelling Issues

Nothing more unnerving than flushing your Flux Capacitor-driven toilet after doing a number 2, finishing up reading a page out of The Martian Chronicles by  Ray Bradbury, and finding yourself eye to eye with a Tyrannosaurus Rex in another dimension.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Sit N Spin Problems

Decided to Sit N Spin on my Ockuliun's little time travelling machine in the quest to find my car keys. Little did I realize I would bump into myself in the process. Eeesh! Have I really lost THAT much hair??

Friday, April 27, 2012

Time Tunnel Function Junction™

Always a shock to crawl through the Ockuliun's time travelling Time Tunnel Function Junction™ and find a bizarre world where chocolate flavored horseradish is a delicacy to yard gnomes.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Ockuliun Issues

Okuliuns have commitment issues, such as being committed to the chore of cleaning up after themselves.

Ockuliuns' Telekinetic Ability

Ockuliuns love to connect the dots using their telekinetic ability. 

Vector-Boink Facts

Vector Boink, the planet inside the invisible galaxy inside the other invisible galaxy beside planet Mars, is actually the origin where Dark Chocolate Pudding Pops are made.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Fudgesickle Facts

My six-foot clown alarm clock Fudgesickles prefers to throw coconut pies at my face, instead of chocolate.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Useful Info About Vector Boink (I think..)

The Ockuliuns (Ock-you-lie-uns), the alien race from Vector-Boink who now live in the crawlspace under my house, told me last night they like to gurgle Coca-Cola and Pop Rocks.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Time Tunnel Function Junction™

Unfortunately, the Beaker clones have been stuffed into an object that looks very much like the Phantom Zone out of the movie Superman II by aliens from the planet Vector-Boink, a planet in the invisible galaxy inside the other invisible galaxy beside Mars where they sell fish heads that giggle and tell jokes about yard gnomes addicted to caffeine. At any rate, being the new proprietors, they have designed an X shaped time-travelling device where one can crawl through and exit into the future or retreat into the past. 

Saturday, April 21, 2012


Using Brainshuffles™ this morning for a short story. Only problem, is that it has taken the notion to argue with me how IT wants to tell the story. I'm the writer here, not it. Gonna have to get my Beaker clones to tweak this darn thing..


Poppy, the hologram of the clown head floating in the air by my laptop that likes to speak to me about the weather, what it would love to be doing if it wasn't a clown head, like drive off to Vegas and stuff itself with cotton candy with a traveling gnome, why I look so funny to him and why I have no hair on the top of my head - all while I'm at my desk mind you - actually came up with a few good ideas for my stories. They even give ME the creeps thinking about them!

Friday, April 20, 2012


 Fudgesickles, my six-foot clown alarm clock, woke me up last night burping the melody of the"Oompa Loompa" song.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Naming The Clown

Fudgesickles is the name of my new six-foot clown alarm clock, developed by the Beaker Labs.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Tweaking the Clown

The Beaker clones had to tweak the six-foot clown alarm clock this morning. It malfunctioned, throwing pies at me at 3 A.M., giggled uncontrollably, and repeated words from Stephen King's novel IT; such as, "We all float down here.."

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Game for the Literary Gremlin

Rubik's Cubes are useful when you want to keep your Literary Gremlins busy.


Came home to find my Beaker clones creating an automaton called Pogomatic, named after a certain demented clown in history.  It was quite unnerving, those eyes painted a light blue shade, peering at you.


Perfect for the writer, the Beaker clones have designed a retro-type writer (Brainshuffles™) that types itself by using telekinetic ability. Of course I'm the guinea pig for this, and really not so sure about them installing the microchip inside my ear using tweezers.


A few of my Beaker clones have taken the interest of doing cartwheels in the living room when we are trying to watch TV.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Heads Of Clowns As Holograms

One of my Beaker clones invented a small box which projects a clown head called Poppy, because he likes to "pop" in from time to time while I am sitting at my desk writing and chat about bizarre things he finds in his nose.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

My Alarm Clock-Shaped Clown

Not really sure about this new six foot alarm clock that is shaped as a clown. I sense its green eyes are following me, every time I move around the room.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Giant Gnomes

Overnight my Beaker clones must have thought I was not happy with the creation of the six foot clown alarm clock because now they have made in the form of a giant gnome. Nope, no kind-hearted Travelocity gnomes here.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Wednesday, April 11, 2012


Metal Slinkys are not compatible with plastic ones. The two can never get along.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Rotten Eggs

Thanks to the literary gremlins, there was an Easter egg hunt before I arrived home from work yesterday. Multicolored plastic eggs filled with spiders, roaches, maggots, and earth worms slithering in small clumps of moist dirt were hidden in the backyard. The robot gnomes with bad attitudes that located these items had a few rotten remarks to express to the gremlins.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Automaton Clown

Still not sure about this new automaton clown for my alarm clock. Think maybe the Beaker clones have out done themselves this time. Darn monstrosity gives me the Heebie-Jeebies. I feel like it's always laughing at me.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

From The Beaker Clones' Lab

My Beaker clones decided to build a six foot clown for my alarm clock. If it would stop throwing pies filled with automaton beetles at my face and making balloon animals that look like spiders, I might not wake up screaming.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012