Friday, December 2, 2011


Somersaulting gnomes who wear Batman pajamas love to eat peanut butter and honey sandwiches.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Sore Eyelids

Evidently I no longer have to stand in the corner, or be chained to a desk, or have my eyelids stretched open with toothpicks and tied to a chair and subjected to watching Beaker clones doing somersaults and burping vowels that sound like the Klingon language. Alas, I have broke away from the norm, ready to pursue my music - as long as I continue to write dark, bizarre stories, even if they end up being short tales of the macabre.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Inventing Authentic Flux Capacitors

Beaker Clone Number 1 decided to invent an authentic Flux Capacitor and attach it to our bathtub. Last night my wife decided to take a bath and as soon as she twisted the knob to turn on the water, it went from zero to warp drive 7 in a six seconds. Once she returned safely - thank goodness - I'm afraid to say what she did to Number 1. Kinda feel bad for the little fella.

Thursday, November 17, 2011


(Sigh) Thanks to my Black-Ops literary gremlins my Ump Must Have Got Up And Went.

Brain Issues

Nanobot literary gremlins love to create havoc in the occipital lobe, the visual processing center, of my brain.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Woke Up To The Scurrying of Little Feet...

Well, not the scurrying I thought it was, thanks to my Beaker clones creating automaton roaches. The little buggers like to eat electrical cords, power strips, lamps, hair dryers, computers, TV's and vacuum cleaners. At least our food is safe, for the time being...

Tuesday, November 15, 2011


I find that delving into fictional worlds, meeting new characters who have bits and pieces of myself, as well as other personalities I've stolen from others, is much better than facing reality. At least my monstrosities do not ever have to worry about such a thing, eh?


Automaton gnomes with jet packs are addicted to

Monday, November 14, 2011


Automaton Rabid Tribbles love to be scratched on their bellies.

Sunday, November 13, 2011


Cyclopean Beaker clones love to hula hoop in the wee hours of the morning.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Out In The Cold

Automaton Jack-In-The-Boxes with Tourette's syndrome need love too.

Monday, October 31, 2011

The Saturation of A Few Oddities

The dark literary gods in the fifth hemisphere according to Ritoen have sent a couple of phantasms holding neon-green colored body bags, punctured with a hole or two, dripping some kind of gooey substance on my desk that doesn't stink, but shapes itself into odd little creatures with bat wings who love to stick out their tongues at me. Helps with the writing of my latest venture into my fiction.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Nanobot Antibiotic

Disengaged purple gremlin nanobots to fight my sinusitis. Figure they could cause a quicker damage, rather than regular prescribed meds...

Thursday, October 27, 2011


Beaker clones love doing cartwheels when you 're not looking.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Concocting Some Potions...

Sending my Beaker clones off to concoct a potion that will give me some creative ideas....just gotta make sure it doesn't give me hallucinations, much like the ones I had last time including cyclopean clowns chewing Juicy Fruit and blowing bubbles and doing the Regan MacNeil spider-walk....

Monday, October 24, 2011


When Life throws you a curve ball, you have two choices: one, you can stand there and be hit in the face over and over or, two, return the favor by throwing a twenty-pound sledge hammer back at Life. At least that's what my seven-foot robot gnome seems to think.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Beakers At Large

My Beaker clones have created mutant pumpkins with teeny-weeny feet and arms with really, really bad attitudes. I've been having trouble stopping them from bouncing around in the house, scaring the dogs. Nothing like using a butcher knife to wield authority.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

In The Crawlspace...

In the crawlspace under my house my Beaker clones have been working very hard in their laboratory. They were so happy the other day, informing me they constructed a robot maid to clean the house.

I was happy to hear about it!

However, every time I come home from work I find it lounging in the recliner watching TV and drinking quart after quart out of a case of Valvoline 5W-30 oil. It told me 10w-30 doesn't agree with it, giving it a bad case of diarrhea.

That day I tried staying clear of the bathroom...

At any rate, it orders me to fix dinner, do the dishes, take out the trash, do the laundry, scratch its back, rub its shoulders, and feed it nuts and bolts out of a bowl while it gets excited over the custom motorcycles on the show, American Chopper.

I feel something has gone wrong here.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Ear Tickling

Nanobot literary gremlins wearing purple mohawks with an addiction to crushed beets love to tickle your ears.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Washing Machines...

are not for Rabid Tribbles who wish to take baths. Their color runs if washed in hot water, each coming out in rainbow colors.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Friday, September 30, 2011


This week during my stint in creating new worlds and new characters including a clown with a prosthetic foot, the lit gremlins - I call them - have been playing havoc with not only constructing a writer's block but using super glue to make sure the blocks are a tight fit and stick together they should, right? At any rate, there's nothing Acme explosives won't do to it, thanks to a few Beaker clones creating them in their lab.

It's good to have comrades-in-arms.

'Scuse me while I wipe the tears away and blow my nose with a honk!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Angry Tribbles

Rabid Tribbles are not much on eating beets, and could get quite angry if you force them to do so.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Interview at Page Readers....

Come listen to me talk about my books and upcoming work Friday May 27, 2011, 10am Pacific Time; 1 pm Eastern Time!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


Looks like the Humanoid Extract - a.k.a R.I.S. (Robotic Intestinal Snakes) - has slithered back into the shell.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Trouble Between The Ears

My gremlins keep running back and forth through the revolving doors in my brain.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Taking the kids for a ride...

Trying to explain to my literary goblins if they don't crowd the rooms inside my skull, I will be more than happy to take them on my bike ride.

Friday, May 20, 2011


Didn't know my robotic monkeys could play hearts and win not only all the chocolate-covered frozen bananas, but all of my Craftsman tools! Oh, well, it's not like I'm mechanically inclined...

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Missing food...

Just found out my robotic goblins like to eat dark chocolate covered espresso beans. Now they act as nuts as my literary gremlins drinking too much Mountain Dew!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


Trying to keep my gremlins from eating my multicolored Slinky.

Writer Rule #1

If a literary gremlin causes writer's block, feed them Oreo cookies.

Monday, May 16, 2011


Fending off my large robotic spiders from trying to eat me. Guess that is what I get for not feeding them this morning.

Friday, May 13, 2011


through verbs, adjectives, nouns and keeping my robotic gorillas happy and content with their baby dolls.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


through revisions this morning, hoping to complete the first part before I receive the rest from my proofer. After feeding my gremlins ice cream and cake for breakfast, they have been leaving me alone. :)

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

No Alarm Clock...

My one-eyed robotic monkeys did not wake me up this morning like they were supposed to. Guess that's what happens when they eat too many dark chocolate-covered bananas the night before.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Problems with spiders

Revising my latest work this morning. If my Cyclops-like robotic spiders would stop scurrying across the keyboard, I could get this darn thing finished!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Monkey House

Love watching my humanoid monkeys climbing in and out of their barrel.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Spider Walk

My robotic cyclopean spiders insist that I walk them when I get home from work, using their webs for leashes.

Sunday, May 1, 2011


Can't stop my literary goblins from snoring so loud. Think they have sleep apnea.


Working on compiling my short stories into one book in which I've never published as of yet.

Thursday, April 28, 2011


Nothing like having a fictional flesh-covered alarm clock. To elaborate, a couple of my characters thought it'd be funny to wake this writer up out of a deep sleep.

Guess it's payback time as I allow my fingers to create their dark world of fate...

Monday, April 25, 2011

Stop By...

A favor to ask: Please stop by and click the "Like" button at this site. I would like see if I can acquire as many as the 128 downloads already completed.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

A Favor To Ask......

If you have read my work, please give my books a review at, even if it is only clicking 1, 2, 3, 4, or (pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!!) 5 stars.

Saturday, April 23, 2011


For the Easter Bunny's early arrival. I am quite sure he will bear his fangs at me.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Scratches His Head

My literary goblin is wondering how many licks it takes to get inside a human eyeball pop.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Morning Side...

Spewing a few characters and villains this morning during this outline of my next tale.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Talking Tina

Woke up hearing my Talking Tina bobble-head telling me she loved me very much, and, in the same sentence, saying: "I'm going"

How quaint.

Something In The Air

Head on over to for a free short tale to read!!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Outlining my next tale..

I hardly ever outline my book before I write it. This time, with the literary gremlins locked in their cage and the literary goblins guarding them, I think I may just be able to do it.


With the help of my literary trolls, I'm using a very sharp tool and needle nose pliers to pull free a few ideas out of my brain.

My pet spider...

Had to rewire my pet cyclopean robotic spider because his feel-bads hurt.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

The Campfire Blog...

Stop on over and visit us at the Hellfire Publishing Blog


If you've purchased this book and have enjoyed the read, please visit and give it a review. It would help a beginner writer out.